Hazy Grey

The deal: Dean writes about the opera, I write about the night in an east berlin dive, hangover from the days of the wall.

Yes friends, last Friday night found us in a seedy little pub, on the invitation of our erstwhile tour guide Terry, a british expat who has been in berlin for about 50 years. Or something like it. Anyway, it was the sort of night out that you can´t buy or read about! And in the sort of place that you would waltz by, even if you had deigned to look in the window!

There was melamine. A lot of it. There was a long bar and a dark corner for darts. The only concession to modernism was a tv screen, set up in the corner for viewing sport. Which we duly viewed - a football match.

Terry sat by me, occasionally patting my hand, and assuring me (with more regularity as the night wore on) that I was in the nicest pub in Berlin, with the nicest people in Berlin. Was I having an interesting night? Yes Terry...now I know where the little red veins lining his face come from...He had a routine which the bartender knew downpat. A big glass of water, a cup of tea...then into the beer. (´cheapest beer in Berlin´)

When we arrived there was the requisite unemployed sad man at the bar, who engaged Dean in conversation for some time. Then gradually the lads (all over 35) began pouring in, Ecky and Gunner and Enrico of the spectacular mullet and large gut. The cloud above our head lengthened and I learnt a thing or two about German drinking culture.

1. The bartender must know when you have finished your drink and bring you a new one. It is rude to draw attention to it.
2. In order to greet people you can just knock on the table, so as to avoid shaking everyones hand.
3. beer and cigarettes.
4. more beer.

And so we watched football, in a fog, and we were welcomed by the nicest people in Berlin. We ate sausages with mustard (Terry´s favourites you know). We chinked glasses and grinned inanely.

We burst out of the fog sometime after 11, having spent about 4 hours in our timewarp. So glad the wall came down...and so glad that non smoking rule now exists in all but a few pockets.